Part 3 Lifes of Brian

Revised Edition
Nov. 2019

" Seamen on theMount ".

Living on the coast of The Sea of Galalee meant that I was surrounded by strong, hunky seamen whom were full of it. Most of them would have been a good catch, though some of them you wouldn't go overboard for. 

The Best Boy on a boat wasn't always the Best Boy on shore and life was tough for many in an all male environment.

On shore, the women that weren't married often supplemented their income by providing pleasure to the hordes of horny single seamen. 

Time was spent fishing, eating, drinking and fucking and little time was devoted to Religious or Spiritual pursuits.  Society had become decadent and pleasure and wealth had become their only objective. 

Morals and ethics were no longer being practiced throughout the land.

Around this time, the Three Wise Men turned up at my tent flap and instructed me that it was time for me to fullfil my destiny as The New Messiah and that I needed to present a Sermon to the masses. 

I informed them that I was planning a debut concert for my band "BC and the Disc-cycles " and i was looking for a suitable venue/location. 
They said they had an ideal location on-top of a nearby mountain and could assist with the catering for the crowd expected.

Within days catering was organised and the event would be catered for by The Loafs and Fishes Resturant, whom ordered in 5000 bread rolls and fish fingers.

I took my band members into the wilderness and set about rehearsal for the coming event and to take time to write my Sermon on the Mount. 

" What should I speak of?, perhaps my Father's Kingdom?".

Being the Son of God is hard work and required some deep revelations and insights.

Whilst writing the Sermon, I had jealousies played out between John and Justass whom had witnessed me being "knowingly" with Millie.

. They asked me; "Why do you kiss her on the lips, are we not any different?" 

I told them that I loved them both equally and loved Millie as a woman and not as a man. With men, I did not kiss intimately upon the lips because I loved them for their maleness/mascalinity and not for effeminate affection.

Admitedly I had been devoting all my time and affections to Millie and they were right to feel left out and unloved. 
 After all, was I not a Lover of men and a Fisher of Men.?

I guess those around me were falling in love with my Messianic charm, hook, line and sinker. Pleasing everyone is difficult at most times and especially when it involves mixed genders, as some men can be as bitchy and over emotional as females.

Regardless of the emotional turmoil around me, one night I managed to sneak away into the wilderness alone.
                  

Satan

. At least I thought I was alone , for out of the blue, Satan appeared before me in a puff of smoke.  Six foot tall, toned and tanned , totally naked and looking hot enough to eat. 

 He spoke in a husky sexy voice asking me "can i lead you into temptation?".

I replied; "Yes,get ye behind me Satan" which he did 3 times during the course of a hot summer night.

 Exhausted I fell asleep and woke in the morning to find Satan gone and to a wretched aching body and blurred mind. 

"Was the experience real or simply a crazy erotic dream of unsationable gay sex?".

I stumbled back into camp and continued with the band rehearsal and prepared a possible short list of songs to perform.

(1) Listen/ River of Light.

(2) Leaving on a camel train

(3) Puff, the magic drag on

(4) The ballad of John and Justass

(5) Thick as 2 planks

(6) Mary had a little Messiah

(7) Conscious Soul.

(8) For Christ's sake, sit down

(9) Father and Son

(10) I am here

(11) Go tell it on a mountain 

(12) Decadent Days

(13) Ascension

(14) The Sun of God

(15) I feel a reserection coming on.

(16) The immaculate deception

(17) Satan loves a goodtime.

(18) Walk upon the water, fire in the sky.

(19) Sinners and Saints

(20) Trust me, I'm the Son of God.

  At this time, I bumped into my old mate Jesus of Nazereth whom told me he was planning a "Sermon on the Mount" where he would preach the Word of God for all to hear. I agreed with him and said that I was planning my debut concert and also planned to present my own Sermon.

Jesus had also found a  female partner, , Mary Magdeline who looked like an Angel. Fair white skin and long flaming red hair. 
                   

She stood out against the dark complexion that Jesus had.
I often thought how strange it was that with the 2 sons of God,; 1 was white and the other was black? 

So Jesus was black like his mum, Mother Mary, who is still worshipped in 2019.

                 


Most of the Judeans were dark skinned and I stood out like dogs balls.

Jesus and Mary often swapped their clothing with each other, Jesus became a Crossdresser in more ways than one.

Because my debut concert would be an opportunity for all my seamen friends to hear my songs and speech, the concert would be billed as " Seamen on the Mount".

During the 2 week lead up to the concert, I told my dear Millie that I needed some space so that I could prepare my own Sermon on the Mount speech.  She was very understanding and I set about writing my sermon, which slowly fell into place.

I prayed to my Father for it not to rain on my parade and hoped that he got my message. My Father was becoming forgetful in his twilight years and he was suffering from advanced stages of dementia.
  He would often be observed walking around his mansion mumbling "where has my universe gone?". 

With an expanding universe, my Father's creations were moving away from him and slowly disappearing from view. 

 To Him, some days felt like a thousand years whilst some days passed without rememberance and were lost in time and in space.

An eternity in the job had taken its toll on my Father and he was beginning to have thoughts of retirement.

 Someone new would have to take control of his universal empire and His company "WANK" ( Want another new kingdom) which was set up over 5 billion years ago to help create habitable Real Estate within the already existing known universe. He told me could travel the Universe in 80 days.

                 Klaatu

All those years ago, my Father's father took a section of the universe consisting only of Dark Matter to create Worlds of Light and new habitable real estate. 

Using advanced Quantum Light Mechanics, He triggered off The Big Bang and the universe exploded into Light and Matter.

My Father said; " this is bloody good" and was in awe of the beauty of His own creation. He then spent the next few million years sending out His Development Management Team to help seed certain planets; creating water/ the oceans; the sky; the atmosphere; day and night; climate and vegetation.

Using DNA and RNA codes new forms of animals, fish and birds were created and a true Paradise was beginning to be realised. Once a suitable stable environment was created, my Father decided to take a rest after working 6 days straight; He was utterly buggered. 

I remember once I did manage to have a direct conversation with my Father and decided to ask him some important questions.

"Father, how does it feel to have lived for millions of years?"

He replied; " a million years my son is like one second to me".

"Father how does it feel to own everything and be super rich?".

He replied; " to me a million sheckles is like one sheckle".

I then asked him; "Father can you please spare me a sheckle"?

He imediately responded with; "Yes son, just give me a second".

On the 1st April 30 AD people from far and wide climbed their way to the top of Mount Sanai to witness my debut concert "Seamen on the Mount" and hear my Sermon.
 In fact, the concert broke all former Box Office reciepts with over 5000 in attendance.  The place was a buzzing with dancing and the smell of Puff everywhere.

      We were rocky mountain high and the world below appeared as a distant memory.

I decided to play only my own original songs and I began the concert with my song "Listen / River of Light" which sent the audience into raptures and a higher state of consciousness.

I followed up with "I am Here", " Always meant to be"," Decadent Days", " Conscious Soul", "Rockbottom" and "Love is such a silly game."

The crowd went wild with each new song and it was plain to see that I had them in the palm of my hand.

Now the time had come to finish my concert debut with my Sermon and I was fearful that the crowd would walk away from my ramblings.

I calmly stepped forward and began my Sermon with;

"Sermon on the Mount".

Blessed are the pioor in spirit for they shall one day be happy with being Ale drinkers.

Blessed are the Meek for they shall inherit the Earth or whats left of it after the Elite have raped and plundered her.

Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be silenced by the warmongers and they shall ascend to Heaven sooner than they think.

Blessed are those that know of Truth and Light, for they do not percieve a world of lies and darkness.

Blessed are those that can think for themselves and seek the truth from within.

Blessed are those that dont believe all the Political and Religious propaganda they are fed.

Blessed are those that care for God's creation and respect every little thing.

Blessed are those that question everything and accept nothing as fact or truth. Over time both questions and answers change and nothing stays the same.

I say unto you, " if you should only love those that love you, then what is the merit of that? Love thy neighbor, his wife and his ass. Love thy enemy and hold him close to your heart and become a lover of men.".  

"I came not to destroy the law or the prophets but came to fullfil the desires of the Creator whom wants to bring Light and Love to humanity."

I say unto you," be not anxious for tomorrow for sufficient unto this day shall be given to all."

"Be quiet and know that the state of Heaven lies within and you are not alone."

"Know thyself and gain access to all the Kingdoms of Heaven; for in Heaven God has many mansions".

 "Your true riches can be found within and not in material possessions." 

"Your Heavenly reward is here today and you only need to ask for your needs to be fullfilled."

"Believe in yourself and follow your path of creativity and love."

"Trust in your instincts  and follow your heart and allow the doors of perception to open."

"The meaning of your life is defined by your deeds and actions."

"Love not just your fellow man or woman but love all of God's creation."

"It is not important who you love, but it is essential that you love".

"The love between 2 human beings; being male & female/ male & male and female % female is celebrated in my Father's kindom and so is acceptable on Earth".

"There is no shame in love and intimacy between 2 human beings, it is a private celebration of physical pleasure."
 

"Thy shall communicate directly with your personal God/Creator and NOT use a Priest as a middle man."

"Thy shall respect the opinions and beliefs of others for we are all on different levels of Spiritual evolvement and have our own journey to endure."

"Thy shall chose to walk the road less travelled and take the time to explore and experience all that life has to offer."

"Thy shall never use ignorance as an excuse for ones behavior and actions."

I say  unto you "that if thou words offend, then get over it and move on."

Thy shall not " tolerate idiots and fools and should seek sanctury in a safe environment when in their pressence."

Thy shall not "fall into the temptation of allowing others to invest your money with the promise of rich returns."

Thy shall NOT " trust any Bank or financial institution with your money for they only seek to line their own pockets with silver and gold."

Thy shall not  " seek False Prophets and False Profits for they will surely lead you to poverty and despair."

"Thy should not focus on the negative but instead focus on the positive aspects of live."

"Keep your thoughts pure and positive and radiate Light and Love as you journey through life."

"Be at One with all creation and your creator and your creator and creation will be at One with you."

"Know that you are Not Alone in the Universe for God created zillions of intelligent creatures throughout the cosmos. "

"Thy shall NOT believe that this is the ONLY life you shall live for life is eternal and never ending."

I say unto you, " become part of our creators Cosmic neighborhood and join in a cosmic celebration of life itself."

I say finally to you; " remember that the love you take is equal to the love you make".

As you venture back to your homes in the valleys below remember all that I have spoken and know that I bring Truth, Love and Light to your world.

After much stress and worry, both the "Seamen on the Mount" and the "Sermon on the Mount" turned out to be highly successful. My future looked promising and my reputation as The New Messiah was growing and I was becoming a well known celebrity.

END OF PART THREE.

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